seaotter

Happy Ending

Happy Ending

Rating:
G
Summary:
Argus Filch decides to try his hand at writing fan fiction.
Notes: Won 2nd in a Hogsmeaede fiction contest
Prompt:
Assuming the last book uses the same timeline as previous ones, by the time Book Seven takes place, Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone would already have been published in the UK, meaning not only that characters in the books could theoretically be exposed to their own story-- but that they could also, joy of joys, be exposed to fandom.  So now, your mission is to write a shipfic. But not just ANY shipfic! Oh, no! Pick one character from the books and write the shipfic that he or she would write. Suppose Hermione secretly thinks Snape and Trelawney would both be a lot more bearable if they just hooked up? Maybe Romilda writes stories about all the little babies she and Harry are going to have! Maybe the giant squid is a Puppy Shipper! Who knows? Only you!
a sunbeam shone directly onto him

hp_funnyfest launch!!!

Sorry to butt in, but I have a comm to pimp....

The launch of the First Annual (god, I hate it when people call things the First Annual anything) HP Funnyfest!!!

Why Funny?
We are sick of angst and character death - we suspect there may be more of the same in a certain book, due out in July - and we wanted to have a good laugh, beforehand.

What sort of Funny?
Any sort of Funny – smutty!Funny, crack!Funny, baby-Weasley!Funny, plugs!Arthur!Funny, smitten!Hagrid!Funny, WWW!Funny...

The Rules are very basic :
Library -- BunnyMcFoo

Fic: No Good Deed

Title: No Good Deed
Author: AngiePen
Fandom: Harry Potter
Rating: G
Request: When Werewolves (and/or Metamorphmagi) attempt the Animagus transformation, some weird, nasty & unexpected side-effects can happen (i.e. getting permanently half-stuck in your other form, turning into a dark version of your other form instead a wolf every full moon etc).
Summary: Remus had an idea that might help his monthly transformations be more bearable and easier to manage. At the very least he'd be much less dangerous to others if he learned the Animagus transformation and spent his moonstruck time in the form of something small and harmless. Minerva thought it was worth trying and agreed to help, but soon she was regretting it....
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone or anything you recognize. I know nothing about their social lives or sexual activities, more's the pity. This is fiction, period. It is done as a labor of love and I make no money from it.
Notes: Written for Round Three of the thematic_hp challenge, Animagi.



It had sounded like a good idea when Remus had explained. It really had. And Minerva would never have agreed to help him if she'd known what would result. Unfortunately she'd never had a talent for divination and she'd paid enough attention to the curriculum requirements as a student to know she didn't have to take it and had happily substituted arithmancy instead during her third year. There were times, however, when divining the future would have come in handy and this was one of them.

Read more....
dork

Coming soon - the Harry Potter Funny Fest Ficathon Type Thing!

I hope this is allowed, oh lovely mod.....



Why Funny?
We are sick of angst and character death - we suspect there may be more of the same in a certain book, due out in July - and we wanted to have a good laugh, beforehand.

What sort of Funny?
Any sort of Funny – smutty!Funny, crack!Funny, baby-Weasley!Funny, plugs!Arthur!Funny, smitten!Hagrid!Funny, WWW!Funny...

So, go and friend and join hp_funnyfest and come up with some smashing funny requests, for when the Request post opens on April 1st - good timing, huh???

Claims will be open from April 15th, and we will be Amused from June 10th.

All pairing, non-pairings, all ratings - as long as it is funny!!!

Please pimp this for me, as I really cannot reach the amusing!Blackcest parts of the fandom!
Ravenclaw - Magpie

M.A.R.Y.S.U.E. Must Die! 4/4

Title: M.A.R.Y.S.U.E. Must Die! - Part Four - The D.T.U.C.
Author: pica_scribit
Rating: PG-13 for sexual references, language and some violence
Word Count: 10168 (complete!)
Genre: parody, fandom mock
Characters: Madeleine Yaxley (OC), Maggie Lewis (OC), Marvola Elfynchyld (OC), Peter, Dumbledore, Special Agent Sam "Boggart" Humphries (OC)
Pairing(s): Remus/Maggie, Remus/Marvola, Peter/Madeleine
Synopsis: Maggie and Madeleine each try to get rid of the new girl at Hogwarts in their own way.
Timeline: September 1974
Disclaimer: I am not J. K. Rowling. I own nothing. Please don't sue me. Some of Agent Humphries' dialogue comes from the film The Maltese Falcon.
Author's Notes: The previous chapters now also include footnotes, which you may wish to backtrack and read, if you have not already. I would like to thank eskimosatan for allowing me to use the concept of the D.T.U.C. in my story. This chapter is dedicated to the memory of Humphry Bogart, a brilliant actor, who passed away fifty years and a couple of weeks ago. Feedback is my drug of choice. As usual, please report any errors or inconsistencies. My other stories can be found here.

[Part One] [Part Two] [Part Three]

(Part Four - The D.T.U.C.)
  • Current Mood
    geeky
Ravenclaw - Magpie

M.A.R.Y.S.U.E. Must Die! - Part Three

Title: M.A.R.Y.S.U.E. Must Die! - Part Three: Glamour
Author: pica_scribit
Rating: PG for some language
Warnings: Chatspeak, abusive punctuation, pairings of characters who hate one another, excessive magical ability, textbook description of a 'Sue
Word Count: 1942
Genre: Crackfic, Fandom parody
Characters: Maggie (OC), Madeleine (OC), Marvola (OC), Peter, Remus, Sirius, James, Lily
Pairing(s): Remus/OC, Remus/'Sue OC, Peter/OC, James/Lily
Synopsis: Madeleine and Maggie scour the Hogwarts library looking for something that will help them in their battle against the too-perfect, thoroughly annoying new girl.
Timeline: September, Marauders' 5th year
Disclaimer: I am not J. K. Rowling. I own nothing. Don't sue me, please.
Author's Note: Parts One and Two can be found on my webpage. Feedback is my drug of choice. Please let me know if this gave you a giggle. As usual, please report any errors or inconsistencies.


(Glamour)
  • Current Mood
    geeky
Ravenclaw - Magpie

M.A.R.Y.S.U.E. Must Die! - Part Two

Title: M.A.R.Y.S.U.E. Must Die! - Part Two: Marvola
Author: pica_scribit
Rating: PG for allusion to sex and some language
Warnings: Chatspeak, anachronism, abusive punctuation, broken dress code, nauseating descriptions, gratuitous misspelling of "Voldemort", excessive magical ability, Sorting Hat's 'Sue song
Word Count: 2531
Genre: Crackfic, Fandom parody
Characters: Maggie (OC), Madeleine (OC), Louisa (OC), Marvola (OC), Hagrid, McGonagall, Remus, Sirius, James, Peter
Pairing(s): Remus/OC, Remus/'Sue OC, Peter/OC
Synopsis: A new girl arrives at Hogwarts. She's perfect. She's beautiful. She has curves in all the right places. Everyone loves her. Everyone except Madeleine and Maggie, that is.
Timeline: September 1, Marauders' 5th year
Disclaimer: I am not J. K. Rowling. I own nothing. Don't sue me, please.
Author's Note: Part One can be found here. Feedback is my drug of choice. Please let me know if this gave you a giggle. As usual, please report any errors or inconsistencies. This story is dedicated to babb_chronicles and all its giggle-inducing, inspirational badfic quotations.


(Marvola)
  • Current Mood
    creative
Ravenclaw - Magpie

M.A.R.Y.S.U.E. Must Die! - Prologue

Title: M.A.R.Y.S.U.E. Must Die! - Prologue
Author: pica_scribit
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1140
Genre: Crack!Fic, Fandom Parody, Humour
Characters: Madeleine Yaxley (OC), Maggie Lewis (OC)
Pairing(s): Maggie/Remus (crush)
Chapter Synopsis: Two young witches bond over their mutual love of author Freya Lovelace, and decide to do a little writing of their own.
Timeline: April - August 1974
Disclaimer: I am not J. K. Rowling. I own nothing. Don't sue me.
Author's Note: This is my first attempt at putting OC's in leading roles. Please be kind to my girls! I promise that the next chapter will be funnier. Feedback is my drug of choice. As usual, please report any errors or inconsistencies.


(Perfectly Pointless Prologue)
  • Current Mood
    silly silly
Library -- BunnyMcFoo

Fic: Incompetence

Title: Incompetence
Author: AngiePen
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing: Draco/Giant Squid
Rating: R
Warnings: Bestiality, Tentacles
Summary: Evil schemes only work as well as your smartest henchman. ;)
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone you recognize. I know nothing about their social lives or sexual activities, more's the pity. This is fiction, period. It is done as a labor of love and I make no money from it.
Notes: Written for oxoniensis's Porn Battle, using [Draco/Giant Squid, "My what big tentacles you have..."] It's really not all that porny per se, but cephalopod sex probably isn't meant to be incredibly hot anyway. :)



Of course the prank had gone wrong, Crabbe being too big of an arse to even hand him the right thing when asked and why he even hung out with these morons was something Draco had asked himself more than once.

The spell had gone off immediately rather than waiting for Miss Know-It-All Prefect to trigger it and the three of them had gone flying out the window in the direction of the lake. Only Draco had actually landed in the lake, while Crabbe and Goyle, being heavier, had landed in a bush and on the grass respectively and he hoped they had some damned painful bruises to remember it by.

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