Pica Scribit (pica_scribit) wrote in tickle_me_harry,
Pica Scribit

Canon - Remus/Sirius - Crack/Slash - PG-13

So it turns out there's more. But at least this one is short.

Title: Canon
Author: pica_scribit
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 576
Genre: Crack/Slash
Pairing(s): Remus/Sirius
Other Characters: None
Synopsis: After the madness of Karaoke Night, Sirius seeks reassurance from Remus.
Timeline: AU/None
Disclaimer: I am not J. K. Rowling. I own nothing. Don't sue me and I won't 'Sue you.
Author's Note: This serves as a sort of epilogue for Karaoke Night, which I posted last night. It's more sweet than silly, but might still provide a giggle. Feedback is my drug of choice. As usual, please report any errors or inconsistencies.


"Moony?" whispered Sirius's voice, tentative in the darkness.

Remus had been nearly asleep, and for a moment he contemplated not answering. It had been a very long night involving too much whiskey, too much drama and far too much bad singing. He sighed. "What is it, Padfoot? It's late."

"I was just wondering about something you said tonight." The uncertainty in Sirius's voice made him sound absurdly young.

The tone filled Remus with tenderness, and he brushed away sleep for the few moments it would take to allay whatever fears had beset his lover in the darkness. "What did I say tonight?"

"You said -- about canon. Not to worry about things like Snivellus buggering Harry or -- or -- touching you. Because it's not canon."

Remus sighed. "It's just fangirls, Padfoot. They have dirty minds. Don't let it trouble you." He wrapped his arms tighter around Sirius.

"I know," Sirius replied. "But do you ever worry that maybe we're not canon either?"

Remus paused. The thought had honestly never occurred to him. Whatever the other Remuses did didn't really matter because he was real. "I've never thought that," he said firmly. "Not for a moment."


"Does it really matter, Padfoot?" he asked softly.

"Maybe. I don't know," Sirius replied. "I guess it doesn't. I mean, we're here, aren't we? It just made me sad to think that maybe there's a real Moony and Padfoot who don't have this. Who maybe never found love. How much more terrible would it have been for us -- all the things that have happened -- if we hadn't found one another?"

Remus rolled onto his back, and pulled Sirius close, cradling the other man's head against his shoulder. He was suddenly aware of the touch of bare skin all down the length of his body as he had not been an hour before when they had made love. How dear it was to him. How precious. How alone he would be without it.

"Look at it this way, Padfoot," he said, fingers tracing the curve of an ear. "There's what? Three thousand pages or so of canon? And we turn up in maybe ten percent of it, if that. There are a few looks and touches, to be sure, but you're right that there's not much evidence of this --" he gave Sirius's arse a tender squeeze "-- implied in the text.

"But that's not the only place we exist, is it? We exist in the hearts and minds of fangirls everywhere. True, some of them are a bit twisted, but there are a few willing to give us a good story -- a little romance -- a little happiness. Because of their devotion, that tiny fraction of canon that was our first home is now only the smallest part of our existence. What we have is real, not because of canon, but because the fangirls want it to be real."

Sirius nodded and snuggled closer. "Thank you, Moony. I feel better now. You're right; canon doesn't matter so much to us."

"Think maybe you can sleep now?"

"I'll try." Sirius stretched to kiss him gently on the lips.

Remus had almost drifted off again when Sirius again said, "Moony?"

"What now, Padfoot?"

"If we exist and are made real by the desires of fangirls ...."


"Then that means that Snivellus really is buggering Harry, doesn't it?"

Remus sighed. "Yes, Padfoot. It does. And you're just going to have to learn to accept it. Good night."

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